What do I do?

Maybe I was just around for the nights
Nights you needed to hold onto somebody tight
Maybe there’s a reason that we were just what I think.
Just some rebound fling?
So what do I do?

Maybe, I think
I just not your type
Maybe your eyes
Didn’t really long just for mine
Maybe I shouldn’t have let you in.
Or maybe it’s a good thing that I did
Because there were moments when you kept me
Warm in your arms

So what do I do?

What if you never found out that night?
What if you never looked into my eyes?
Would I be better not being where I am
Or is this a feeling I can stand?
Wait!
I miss your arms

So what do I do?

Maybe I should be more careful next time
But maybe I am.
Maybe you are
Just wasting your time?
Maybe I should just ask you what this is
Would you end it.
Or say I’m just wrong?

So, what if you do?

Hawaii (Nothing But Dead

Let’s rearrange

I wish you were a stranger I could disengage

The look in your eyes,

Girl they haven’t changed

But I fear we won’t ever get along

 

So let’s discard

All the hopes we had

Like that cable car

That the Fray sings about

While playing a guitar

Girl,

We can never get along

 

Every feeling I thought I had

Nothing but dead

Nothing but dead

We can’t reignite

Not tonight

Not in this life

 

It’s really strange

That doe-y eyed look you used to have

It hasn’t changed

It still tugs at the string of my heart

But I can only wonder for how long

 

Let’s not start

I gave you my trust

And you ripped it apart

In some silly way

A way

That will forever come between

 

Every feeling I thought I had

Nothing but dead

Nothing but dead

We can’t reignite

Not tonight

Not in this life

 

 

 

Blinded by Ego

Girl you moved me

Yes you moved me

You were the oxygen fostering the flame beneath my ass

Ever since I let you leave me

I’ve been searching for another gas

Arrogance clouded what I remembered

About the man I was suppose to be

Now regret isolates me like an island

Seperated from mainland by the sea

You were everything I desired

But an over-inflated ego blinded me

Where did I go?

Why did I lie?

Why did I give up

Without even a try?

I traded you for lonliness

For uncertainty

For a better-off you

And a pathetic me.

Now I’m setting my goals

I’m learning

How to be a better man

But is it really worth it?

When you’re not there to hold my hand.

I lost your trust when I finally had it

You had my trust before it was earned

Now like any loser I do wander

For a place on this sad Earth

Where did we go?

Why didn’t you fight?

For something you said you needed in life?

Why am I so weak?

What makes you so strong?

I don’t know if I can take this for much more long

This feels like a losing battle

But I’ll brush away my tears

Because I need to believe I can be happy

Even though you aren’t here

On The Radio

On the radio

I heard that you reached fame

I lit up a cigar

With a joy I could not contain

 

I listened to it twice

Just to hear your words

The sounds you made were grand

Like something foreign to this Earth

 

On the radio

You were so proud and glad

It wasn’t until a tear rolled down my cheek

When I realized I was sad

 

On the radio

You were so far away

It’s been to long

Since I’ve felt your warm embrace

 

I listened a little more

Because the callers were calling in

Every Jack & Jill

Wanted you to climb their hill with them

 

On the radio

I heard that you reached fame

It made me really glad

But I’m still lonely all the same

My Dream Tonight

It’s border line
Or It’s State line
Either Way, I won’t cross it this time
She’s a gypsy,
But I’m drifter
So you best believe,
I can never be with her

And I’m gonna live my dreams tonight
Cos tommorrow I’m probably gonna start a fight
And My trusty steed will take me anywhere
For me it’s just another camp fire year

Getting drunk with friends till morning
All we’ve got are 64’s and 40’s
And Annabelle does more than just tuck me in
I guess she doesn’t mind that I’ll wake up pukin’

And I’m gonna live my dream as a knight
Superman better becareful as I prepare for flight
Dreary dungeons never seem to scare
But Stay with me at my camp fire here

But I must say, I’ve grown weary
Of living out all my fantasies
Can I be normal for a while?
My most intriguing mission
Would be me to make you smile

And We’re gonna live Our dreams tonight
The evening sky just seems perfectly right
Blind Ambition will guide us everywhere
But we can share pillow talking dear

(2009 Original)

One Year Gone

It’s been close to a year now
I just can’t leave this pain
The way I made you leave me
Still eats at my brain
There’s so much I could tell you
So much I want to hear you say
But you’re no longer with me
It’s driving me insane

They say that you lose it,
Just when you need it the most.

I hope that you’re doing just fine
I hope that your memories are forming better than mine
I hope that one day I could just see you smile
I hope you’re making the best of each mile

I’ve never regret to tell you
I write mini letters to you everyday
I throw most of them out
Because I don’t have much to say
I would just love to hear you,
I can still hear you say, “I miss you, baby”
Girl, I still feel the same

Why did I do it?
You were the one who loved me the most

I hope that you’re doing just fine
I hope that your memories are forming better than mine
I hope that one day I could just see you smile
I hope you’re making the best of each mile

Recall Me, Recall me
I’ve got to know
If this feeling is all just my own
Recall me, Recall me
How can I love you if you’re not near?

I’m doing just fine
My heart still misses you, but it’s getting better with time
I hope that one day, I could just see you smile
I bet you still haven’t gone out of style.

Goodbye

If there’s one thing you have taught me
It’s that I was no good as your man.
Though I could write scores of poems about your beauty,
It’s something you could never understand.
I’ve always thought that girls like you didn’t exist
Yet, there was always this demand.
I could’ve sent you more flowers
Should’ve taken you to an orchestra or a band.
But now if I try take your hand,
You would move away and stand.

You never did understand
I think you’re impressive
It’s a thought of everyone
They just don’t express it.
You’re just so wonderful,
But you had to leave.

I could fill up all my blog
With all that thinking about you,
All the thinking I have thought.
I would repeat some of it,
But you’d only think I’m trying to get you off.
I could tell that you have talent,
and not with singing or reading a script.
Your thoughts and words are beautifully unique
When you talk I just swallow all of it.
I tried to be your man,
and I don’t think you were too scared to make that stand.

You never did understand
I think you’re amazing
It’s a thought they all want to say
But they’re all too lazy.
You’re just so wonderful,
But you must leave.

You must leave.

You were so different than the others,
But I feel like I was a waste of your time.
Though you poke me and you greet me,
I doubt that I’m ever really on your mind.
I tried to be your man
But you wouldn’t let me make that stand.

I hope one day you understand
That you’re impressive.
I think everyone alive
Should just express it.
And I hope
That one day you won’t have to leave.

I Miss The Little Things

Remember that time
In the backseat of my car
That’s still the only time
I’ve exposed to you my heart
I said I might be in love
You said that was a strong word
That it was too much
And we never talked about it again

We made out in the back
We forgot about what I asked
I kissed you goodnight
I thought you’d never turn me down again

I’m so sorry
But my tiny heart aches
I see your face
And I’m impulsed to run away
I wanted in
You wanted out
Why couldn’t we talk it out?

You told about your past
About how a guy made out with you on the bus
You told me about that boy from your teens
Whenever you talked about him
I got so jealous
You were so excited to meet
Up with him in a few weeks
That’s when I realized you had been in-love

I’m so sorry,
But my tiny heart aches.
I know I said we’d be friends
But I’m compelled to run away
I wanted in
You wanted out
Why couldn’t we talk it out?

Our relationship was a such a doozy
I met your friends
You watched my movies
We shared some tunes
We loved to play pool.
We would sit on your portch.
We would chit-chat,
And do little things, like that.

I miss the little things, like that.

I’m so sorry,
But my tiny heart aches.
I know I said we’d be friends
But I’m compelled to run away
I wanted in
You wanted out
Why couldn’t we just talk it out?

The Only Thing

There was a meeting
T’was disaster
Those darned Elves blew it up
Those dang bastards
I felt so lost
For a smidget
I can’t believe we lost to those darned midgets

And I’m only gonna sharpen my blade tonight
Runic shields,
Copper bonds
And Annabelle is my only friends in sight
Showing Mercy won’t get me anywhere
I’m gonna fight unfair with unfair

Marching forward before Sunrise
We were few
Just myself, Annabelle, and two guys
But we knew we would be winning
No matter our lack in numbers
Those elves were getting beaten.

And I’m gonna slay some Elves today.
Neither God,
Nor Zeus,
Not even Bichautus could get in my way
I just know this fight won’t last very long
Because they are weak and we are strong.

Annabelle stopped me for a minute
I said, “Dear, What is it?”
She said, “Wake up. It is breakfast time.”
I looked around
Realizing that I had been dreaming all of this time.

And it turns out I had to be at work by Nine.
No elves.
No fire.
I wasn’t a king or a knight.
Still, I’m happy to stay in gear.
The only thing I need is Annabelle, and she’s here.

Suicide

Suicide might be an option
But it’s never a solution
I wish that before you ran away
That you would’ve reached the same conclusion
You were always wrestling demons
It was always thick or thin
Your mom had left you
Your father would never let you in
In from the cold
So were left out, all alone
You were always so tired and upset
You had no place to call home
I wish you had talked with me, man
All those times that we sat down to chat
Why couldn’t you level with me, man?
You know I always have your back.
You were so proud,
You refused my helping hand.
Now you’re gone,
Now we’ll never have a chance to chat again.

I wish you hadn’t left us
Could’ve battled and came out strong
You could’ve made a difference
You were so clever,
So why am I only talking to you through song?

Suicide might be an answer
But don’t make it your conclusion
That idea that nobody loves you?
Girl, it’s only a delusion
It’s actually very trivial who you sleep with
Or how many men you kiss.
Everyone makes mistakes
So regardless of yours,
Trust that you would be truly missed.
Take it from your parents,
Or your friends Carissa and Irene,
When you entered our lives
We all felt so serene.
And if you can’t do this for you
Do it for your daughter
If you go, she’ll grow up with out a mother or a father
In time you’ll see
She is your greatest accomplishment and gift
Come on girl,
Please take that knife away from your wrist.

I wish that you hadn’t done it
Could’ve battled and came out strong
You could’ve made a difference,
You were always so clever
So why am I talking to you only through song?

Suicide is an answer
But it’s never a solution
We all go through trials and tribulations,
But we can always work through them.
So whether you’re a stressed college kid
Or a single mom
I ask you to have faith,
Life does go on.
The choices you make,
They effect everyone you know
So before you pull that trigger
Call somebody, just pick-up the phone
There’s always somebody who sheds a tear in the end
A counsoler, a parent, a peer, or a friend
We’ll help you through it, no matter how rough

Sincerely yours,
Your Best Friend
With Unconditional Love